Why I Want a Wife

It seems fitting to write this blog post during High School Spirit Week, on a day when my grade was assigned to dress up to fit the theme "midlife crisis." While the boys of my grade (all of whom are either seventeen or eighteen) took this as the opportunity to boast suits and ties and varying levels of business attire, the girls took a different approach, donning aprons, tracksuits and pearls and their best housewife apparel. One of my friends commented to another upon seeing her costume, "You'd make the best housewife!"

Therefore, while looking back though the text "Why I Want a Wife" by Judy Syfers, it instantly jumped out and appealed to me. Although it exaggerates (or maybe speaks the blatant truth, depending on what view you take) the role of the wife, it seems as though that stereotype of the overworked housewife is widely accepted as the truth in society. Or at least in my senior class, anyway.

In her piece as she examines the different things that wives must do for their husbands, Syfers decides that she too would like to have a wife. I mean, look at all of the things that wives do for their spouses. In addition to a wide variety of household chores (ranging from driving the children to school to filling guests' glasses at dinner parties) wives are expected to selflessly abandon their job should it conflict with their housework. Unfortunately, instead of being a massive dramatization, many wives are expected to adhere to those guidelines.

Perhaps one of the most interesting points that Syfers makes is her view on how wives are supposed to view sex.

"I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it," (Syfers). 

While sex is arguably one of the most intimate moments a husband and wife can share, a moment that should be characterized by mutual love, respect and passion, Syfers implies that it is also a wife's duty to fulfill her husbands desires. Additionally, while some of the above chores really are expectations husbands hold (grocery shopping, feeding children, hosting dinner parties etc.), the final task is that the wife must understand that her husband does not have to remain monogamous. She says,

"If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free," (Syfers). 

That is never part of the original deal of marriage. 'Til death do us part - not 'til boredom do us abandon.

Above all, wives are expected to grin and bear their obligations. Syfers, after all, wants "a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties." And duties they are.