What if the standards that women are held to in society were reversed? What if men were viewed as subservient? What if men were forced to hate their skin and their thighs, unable to "experience equal status in the community" (Wolf 189)? What if men were routinely paid less than their female colleagues and exposed to severe sexual harassment and discrimination at work? What I have done in my last blog post is to explore what would happen in a sort of twilight universe situation. By that, I mean I am intrigued by what would happen if men were forced to undergo the same challenges (both internal and external) that women are forced to combat every day, if the Beauty Myth affected men and not women. In my story, Zach is a seventeen year old high school junior, and lives a life dominated by the Beauty Myth, in a world where the Beauty Myth reigns, targeting males, and wreaking havoc upon their lives and confidence.
***
"The norm, then, for young, middle class American women, is to be a sufferer from some form of the eating disease" (Wolf 182).
Zach dragged his feet as he walked to school in the hazy light of the morning. His gray eyes were dull and lifeless, as they had been for the last several months. He was just trying to make it through each day, but as he was consuming less and less food, the challenge of each day grew increasingly looming. It had started on a pretty low-key pattern when he joined in with his friends on a crash diet before spring break but even when school resumed after spring break, Zach was hooked on his new eating patterns. He didn't remember the last time he had eaten a full meal, preferring to pick at fruit or drink diet soda to curb his cravings. He could feel all of the other boys' jealous stares on him when he resisted the greasy pizza in the cafeteria and he knew they envied his willpower.
His first few classes passed in sort of a lifeless blur as they always did. He couldn't focus and his grades were dropping as quickly as the pounds were. He spent hours in the gym after school and found that running was the only time he could actually be free from the burden that his eating disorder put on his, thus leading him into a self-perpetuated cycle. He chewed gum viciously; he chewed it to keep himself focused in class, to curb his appetite, to keep his rumbling stomach at bay, and to rid his mouth of the foul taste of partially digested food and stomach acid.
At lunch, he congregated with his friends in cafeteria and watched with envy as they took generous bites of their ceasar salads. Did they even know how many calories the dressing had? He nibbled on a handful of grapes silently watching a nearby table with extreme envy. The table boasted the most popular and powerful girls in the school - the cheerleaders. They were pouring into their food, devouring sloppy joes, french fries, and club sandwiches without a care in the world, hair pulled back off of their faces to avoid dangling in the barbecue sauce. Zach's friend caught him staring at the girls, "I know, man," he said, "Wouldn't it be nice just for once to eat like a girl and not put on a pound?"
"If women were going to have sexual freedom and a measure of worldly power, they'd better learn to fuck like men" (Wolf 134)
That Saturday, Zach attended a party with his friends at one of their classmate's houses whose parents were out of town. He watched the girls showing off on the dance floor, laughing and being reckless and rowdy; the boys on the other hand, stood nervously, constantly readjusting clothing, and flattening their hair. They whispered in the corners, desperately hoping that one of the girls would pick them to flirt with. They would never admit it but they all wanted to be one of the latest conquests of the cheerleaders, who preyed upon weak and insecure boys.
Zach began to drink something that one of the girls handed him. He knew she was probably trying to get him drunk and take advantage of him, as he had been warned about so many times, but he was too self-conscious to care.
He wasn't sure how he ended up in the closet with the girl, whose breath smelt like beer and whose body felt like sweaty rolls of flesh. Her grip was tight and her hands were hot, making Zach feel trapped and weak. It felt like it could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, but finally someone yanked open the door of the closet, causing light to stream in and Zach and the girl to stumble out.
"Yo, nice!" girls called out to the girl, high-fiving her and slapping her hands as she walked out triumphantly. "You dog!" others echoed in praise.
As Zach crept back into the party in embarrassment he was greeted with whispers and stares. "Slut," he heard one boy hiss, but he wasn't sure from which direction. He left the party then, and trudged home.
"They will buy more things if they are kept in the self-hating, ever-failing, hungry and sexually insecure state..." (Wolf, 66)
Walking to school that Monday, Zach glanced up at the billboard hanging over a bus stop. The ad was of a perfectly groomed and perfectly chiseled man with an oiled-up body and almost no clothing. Zach didn't look at what the product was, all ads these days were the same. It didn't matter if it was selling tampons or orange juice, he couldn't find an ad in a magazine or billboard that didn't have the idealized body of a perfect man portrayed. He double-checked his appearance in the bus stop reflection before proceeding to school, the billboard staring down at him, reminding him of how imperfect he still was.
"Beauty thinking urges women to approach one another as possible adversaries until they know they re friends" (Wolf 75)
As he gazed at his reflection in the stained bathroom mirror at school, he noticed how pale and gaunt his face was beginning to look. Two other boys walked into the grungy bathroom laughing together, and Zach froze. They looked at him up and down and Zach hated the burning feeling he got in his stomach as their eyes bore into him, criticizing everything about him without even saying a word. Zach left the bathroom in a rush and disappeared into the masses in the hallway. If he couldn't be perfect, he longed to just be invisible.
***
This course has made me think in ways that previous courses haven't. I chose to focus on Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth for my last post, as it was my favorite book that we read and I think it was the book that both shocked me and stuck with me the most. I wanted to highlight the challenges that Zach goes through as challenges that many girls and women go through on a daily basis, yet these challenges are often deemed trivial and are consistently overlooked. Hopefully, people think that what's happening to Zach is somewhat ridiculous, and realize how wrong it is that when girls go through the same thing no attention is brought to it, which seems just morally wrong.
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Grandmas
As the end of the year draws to a close and graduation becomes an imminent reality and not just a thing of the future, I spend a lot of time thinking about my family. In about two weeks, both my paternal and maternal grandparents will fly across the ocean in order to attend my graduation. As much as I eagerly anticipate their visit and seeing them again, four grandparents for a week will bring about a lot of "family time."
My paternal grandparents arrive first. At my bat mitzvah several years ago, my maternal grandparents stayed at my house while the paternal grandparents were put up in a hotel. Now it is my parental grandparents' turn.
My Grandma Jackie is my dad's step-mother, but the only grandmother on that side that I have known. My dad's mother, Grandma Helen, was killed by a drunk driver when my father was two. I have her middle name, her petite stature, and her love of language. Grandma Jackie is a former fashion model, and despite the face that it seems as though she is always going to doctor's appointments and getting prescribed new medicines, she is as glamorous as ever. She and I share our passions for horseback riding and baking. I have seen photos of Grandma Jackie back from the days when she modeled. She wasn't tall enough to do runway, but did a great deal of catalogue and editorial magazine shoots. In each photo, her complexion is flawless, her hair shiny, and her waist so tiny that I don't doubt that my hands would fit around it. Even now, she carries herself with poise, in spite of her thick Brookyln accent. I remember she got my an "eyebrow brush" when I was ten years old. I didn't even know women groomed their eyebrows yet.
My Grandma Phyllis is my mom's mom. She is the mother of four children (my mother being the youngest) and her family is clearly the most important part of her life. She makes her twelve grandkids, four children, and four children-in-law her priorities. She knows when any of us have a tennis tournament, a standardized test or a dance recital. What I love about my grandma, is no matter the circumstance or how soon it will be until we see her again, she always cries when she says goodbye to my family after the end of a visit. When she was 18 she went away to attend college, however her mom died during her first year, and Grandma Phyllis moved back home and went to a nearby college to help her dad raise her two younger siblings. I've always admired that.
I love both of my grandmas, and as different as they are, they both have the ability of being able to make me laugh. I'm sure that my graduation lunch won't be an exception, and I feel blessed to have two such amazing women in my family to look up to.
My paternal grandparents arrive first. At my bat mitzvah several years ago, my maternal grandparents stayed at my house while the paternal grandparents were put up in a hotel. Now it is my parental grandparents' turn.
My Grandma Jackie is my dad's step-mother, but the only grandmother on that side that I have known. My dad's mother, Grandma Helen, was killed by a drunk driver when my father was two. I have her middle name, her petite stature, and her love of language. Grandma Jackie is a former fashion model, and despite the face that it seems as though she is always going to doctor's appointments and getting prescribed new medicines, she is as glamorous as ever. She and I share our passions for horseback riding and baking. I have seen photos of Grandma Jackie back from the days when she modeled. She wasn't tall enough to do runway, but did a great deal of catalogue and editorial magazine shoots. In each photo, her complexion is flawless, her hair shiny, and her waist so tiny that I don't doubt that my hands would fit around it. Even now, she carries herself with poise, in spite of her thick Brookyln accent. I remember she got my an "eyebrow brush" when I was ten years old. I didn't even know women groomed their eyebrows yet.
My Grandma Phyllis is my mom's mom. She is the mother of four children (my mother being the youngest) and her family is clearly the most important part of her life. She makes her twelve grandkids, four children, and four children-in-law her priorities. She knows when any of us have a tennis tournament, a standardized test or a dance recital. What I love about my grandma, is no matter the circumstance or how soon it will be until we see her again, she always cries when she says goodbye to my family after the end of a visit. When she was 18 she went away to attend college, however her mom died during her first year, and Grandma Phyllis moved back home and went to a nearby college to help her dad raise her two younger siblings. I've always admired that.
I love both of my grandmas, and as different as they are, they both have the ability of being able to make me laugh. I'm sure that my graduation lunch won't be an exception, and I feel blessed to have two such amazing women in my family to look up to.
Sunday, 27 May 2012
The Vagina Monologues and the Awkward Factor
When we were told in class that we had to read the introduction and first part of The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler before the class made a decision about whether or not we would study it, I instantly saw why preparation and careful thought was needed in order to make that decision. The shock value of the book is a little bit unnerving if you aren't prepared for it, and I definitely see why some people felt uncomfortable studying it. Nonetheless, I think that itself, the fact that people did not feel comfortable discussing topics expressed by Ensler is reason enough for the class to study the play.
Class discussion surrounding this play was (in my opinion) certainly carried out with a high degree of sensitivity, but also with some degree of awkwardness. You could see people around the harkness table covering their mouths or sipping from their water bottles to mask their giggles as people said the word "vagina" freely in a classroom setting.
Nonetheless, I do feel as though I learned a great deal from reading the play and from watching clips of it performed. I liked Ensler's message that women should be proud of the fact that they are women, and that vaginas, periods, childbirth and all that comes with womanhood is something to praise and celebrate, not shy away from. She begins her piece with the phrase, "I bet you're worried. I was worried," and I found it effective that she continuously alludes to how touchy a topic she is writing about (Ensler, 3). Later, she declares, "I realize I don't know what's appropriate. I don't even know what that word means. Who decides" and then "Saying these words feels too naughty, dangerous, too direct, too specific, wrong, intense, in charge, alive," (Ensler, 117).
She talks about things that had never crossed my mind before such as dedicating a chapter of her book to women's answers to the question: "If your vagina got dressed, what would it wear?" Some of the answers are outrageous. Women responded with simple things such as "jeans" or "a silk kimono" but others said apparel such as "a large hat full of flowers" or a "costume eye mask" (Ensler, 15, 16). She also talks about more sensitive topics such as rape, genital mutilation, and sexual infidelity but makes sure to throw in funny anecdotes too such as women's stories about menstruation.
Of course, the way we studied the play is very different than watching it be performed. We don't get to see the facial expressions she uses or hear the inflection of her voice change as she speaks. We don't get to hear the tone of her voice change nor see tears well up in her eyes or angry beads of sweat form on her forehead. When watching a video clip of her perform some chapters of the play, it was more moving, and more powerful to watch how completely possessed by the work she becomes. However, in reading the play we do get to take our own interpretation away from the book, as the piece is nothing if not thought provoking. I am certainly glad that our class studied The Vagina Monologues as it definitely caused me to rethink a few things and sparked new ideas.
Class discussion surrounding this play was (in my opinion) certainly carried out with a high degree of sensitivity, but also with some degree of awkwardness. You could see people around the harkness table covering their mouths or sipping from their water bottles to mask their giggles as people said the word "vagina" freely in a classroom setting.
Nonetheless, I do feel as though I learned a great deal from reading the play and from watching clips of it performed. I liked Ensler's message that women should be proud of the fact that they are women, and that vaginas, periods, childbirth and all that comes with womanhood is something to praise and celebrate, not shy away from. She begins her piece with the phrase, "I bet you're worried. I was worried," and I found it effective that she continuously alludes to how touchy a topic she is writing about (Ensler, 3). Later, she declares, "I realize I don't know what's appropriate. I don't even know what that word means. Who decides" and then "Saying these words feels too naughty, dangerous, too direct, too specific, wrong, intense, in charge, alive," (Ensler, 117).
She talks about things that had never crossed my mind before such as dedicating a chapter of her book to women's answers to the question: "If your vagina got dressed, what would it wear?" Some of the answers are outrageous. Women responded with simple things such as "jeans" or "a silk kimono" but others said apparel such as "a large hat full of flowers" or a "costume eye mask" (Ensler, 15, 16). She also talks about more sensitive topics such as rape, genital mutilation, and sexual infidelity but makes sure to throw in funny anecdotes too such as women's stories about menstruation.
Of course, the way we studied the play is very different than watching it be performed. We don't get to see the facial expressions she uses or hear the inflection of her voice change as she speaks. We don't get to hear the tone of her voice change nor see tears well up in her eyes or angry beads of sweat form on her forehead. When watching a video clip of her perform some chapters of the play, it was more moving, and more powerful to watch how completely possessed by the work she becomes. However, in reading the play we do get to take our own interpretation away from the book, as the piece is nothing if not thought provoking. I am certainly glad that our class studied The Vagina Monologues as it definitely caused me to rethink a few things and sparked new ideas.
The Enigma of The Other Woman
Something that my girl and guy friends alike have noticed, is the inevitable competition that exists between women. When women are approached by another woman or meet a new woman for the first time, her hackles instantly go up as she sizes up this female and the possible threat she brings with her. On the other hand, when women enter a new environment, they can feel strangers' eyes bearing into them and making instant judgements about their clothes, hair, weight and shoes before they are declared a threat or not.
We have seen this theme of the impending danger of the "other woman" in several pieces of literature that we have read so far this semester, including Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth and Mary Wollstonecraft's A Vindication of the Rights of Women, two very different pieces.
In one court case that Wolf mentions, the case states that "attractiveness" is "a natural sex phenomenon which plays at least a subtle part in most personnel decisions," meaning that women are constantly sizing each other up as one woman's looks may cost another woman her job (Wolf, 38). Later, Wolf argues that it is the beauty myth itself that has "kept women from learning how to do something that makes all male social change possible: How to identify with the unknown woman in a way that is no personal" (Wolf, 75). According to Wolf, women will dismiss other women for being too pretty and made up, or looking too drab and dowdy. The perfect level is nearly impossible to achieve. "The unknown woman, the myth would like women to believe, is unapproachable; under suspicion before she opens her mouth because she's Another Woman, and beauty thinking urges women to approach each other as possible adversaries until they know they are friends," Wolf says (Wolf, 75).
Especially in a high school environment filled with hormonal teenage girls, Wolf's sentiments and concerns are on display perfectly. Freshmen often talk about receiving the "up down" look from older girls, and younger girls have described walking the hallways as daunting.
However, the same views were on display centuries early, when Wollstonecraft identified that women had to stop seeing each other as enemies and had to work together in their fight for equality. In her day, women who valued intelligence were often looked down on, as the traditional role of the woman was a domestic and subservient one. "The exclamations then which any advice respecting female learning commonly produces, especially from pretty women, often arise from envy," Wollstonecraft says, and believes that women and men both feel threatened by intelligent women (Wollstonecraft, 121). She also says that women are not able to achieve better progress because they "view each other with a suspicious and envious eye" and are unable to put that aside in order to work towards their common goal (Wollstonecraft, 122).
We have seen this theme of the impending danger of the "other woman" in several pieces of literature that we have read so far this semester, including Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth and Mary Wollstonecraft's A Vindication of the Rights of Women, two very different pieces.
In one court case that Wolf mentions, the case states that "attractiveness" is "a natural sex phenomenon which plays at least a subtle part in most personnel decisions," meaning that women are constantly sizing each other up as one woman's looks may cost another woman her job (Wolf, 38). Later, Wolf argues that it is the beauty myth itself that has "kept women from learning how to do something that makes all male social change possible: How to identify with the unknown woman in a way that is no personal" (Wolf, 75). According to Wolf, women will dismiss other women for being too pretty and made up, or looking too drab and dowdy. The perfect level is nearly impossible to achieve. "The unknown woman, the myth would like women to believe, is unapproachable; under suspicion before she opens her mouth because she's Another Woman, and beauty thinking urges women to approach each other as possible adversaries until they know they are friends," Wolf says (Wolf, 75).
Especially in a high school environment filled with hormonal teenage girls, Wolf's sentiments and concerns are on display perfectly. Freshmen often talk about receiving the "up down" look from older girls, and younger girls have described walking the hallways as daunting.
However, the same views were on display centuries early, when Wollstonecraft identified that women had to stop seeing each other as enemies and had to work together in their fight for equality. In her day, women who valued intelligence were often looked down on, as the traditional role of the woman was a domestic and subservient one. "The exclamations then which any advice respecting female learning commonly produces, especially from pretty women, often arise from envy," Wollstonecraft says, and believes that women and men both feel threatened by intelligent women (Wollstonecraft, 121). She also says that women are not able to achieve better progress because they "view each other with a suspicious and envious eye" and are unable to put that aside in order to work towards their common goal (Wollstonecraft, 122).
Friday, 4 May 2012
The Double Standard (Part III: Sex)
The double standard that women and men are held to is perhaps the most deeply entrenched when it comes to sex and relationships.
The most obvious way men and women and differ, is in terms of dominance and submission. To use these words, in my opinion, to describe what should be a loving, consensual act seems slightly off-colored. Sex should be about pleasure and feelings, not about who is dominating whom. However, men express slightly different opinions. When surveyed, it was discovered that "30 percent of college men would commit rape if they could be sure of getting away with it", and when the wording was changed to "force a woman into having sex", 58 percent said they would (Wolf 165).
The cycle is self-perpetuating, as many women have said that they actually enjoy being dominated and "more than 50 percent of boys and nearly half the girls thought it was okay for a man to rape a woman if he was sexually aroused by her" a UCLA study reported (Wolf 167). It disgusts me that any woman (let alone half of women polled) would ever condone rape.
Rape is another integral part of this power struggle. Date rape is a huge issue across college campuses. Women go to parties, often have a few drinks and can find themselves in compromising situations. Men persuade or force women into cars, bedrooms, or dark hallways and take advantage of them. However, it is the women in these situations who get blamed for dressing like "sluts". Dressed the way they are dressed, it doesn't matter if they say yes or no to a mans advances and even if they thwart a man's attempts, they often end up pressured into situations they don't feel comfortable in. Men blame the way the woman was acting or behaving. If she was drinking to get drunk or dressed in short, tight, clothing, she clearly wanted it. When polled, 83.5 percent of men thought that "some women look like they're just asking to get raped" (Wolf 165).
I remember when I first heard about the Cheryl Aruajo case. My mom told me the story while we were driving in the car one day and I was utterly shocked. Aruajo left her children at home one night and went into a local tavern to buy cigarettes where she was viciously raped on a pool table in front of onlookers. Nonetheless, two of her four attackers were acquitted and this was the start of the "blame the victim" mentality, as she was accused of dressing provocatively. A movie, The Accused, was later made about this story.
Another double standard in the bedroom is when it comes to climaxing. Women will fake orgasms to "please their husbands" but I have never heard of men "faking it" to please their wives (Wolf 147). Wolf argues that in development, "sexual giving emerges as generosity rather than submissiveness" but women continue to take on the role of the victim or the woman being dominated when it comes to the bedroom (Wolf 155).
Above all, what I took out of this chapter is that women should not be blamed for men's insecurities (sexual or otherwise) nor should they be blamed for their own assaults.
The most obvious way men and women and differ, is in terms of dominance and submission. To use these words, in my opinion, to describe what should be a loving, consensual act seems slightly off-colored. Sex should be about pleasure and feelings, not about who is dominating whom. However, men express slightly different opinions. When surveyed, it was discovered that "30 percent of college men would commit rape if they could be sure of getting away with it", and when the wording was changed to "force a woman into having sex", 58 percent said they would (Wolf 165).
The cycle is self-perpetuating, as many women have said that they actually enjoy being dominated and "more than 50 percent of boys and nearly half the girls thought it was okay for a man to rape a woman if he was sexually aroused by her" a UCLA study reported (Wolf 167). It disgusts me that any woman (let alone half of women polled) would ever condone rape.
Rape is another integral part of this power struggle. Date rape is a huge issue across college campuses. Women go to parties, often have a few drinks and can find themselves in compromising situations. Men persuade or force women into cars, bedrooms, or dark hallways and take advantage of them. However, it is the women in these situations who get blamed for dressing like "sluts". Dressed the way they are dressed, it doesn't matter if they say yes or no to a mans advances and even if they thwart a man's attempts, they often end up pressured into situations they don't feel comfortable in. Men blame the way the woman was acting or behaving. If she was drinking to get drunk or dressed in short, tight, clothing, she clearly wanted it. When polled, 83.5 percent of men thought that "some women look like they're just asking to get raped" (Wolf 165).
I remember when I first heard about the Cheryl Aruajo case. My mom told me the story while we were driving in the car one day and I was utterly shocked. Aruajo left her children at home one night and went into a local tavern to buy cigarettes where she was viciously raped on a pool table in front of onlookers. Nonetheless, two of her four attackers were acquitted and this was the start of the "blame the victim" mentality, as she was accused of dressing provocatively. A movie, The Accused, was later made about this story.
Another double standard in the bedroom is when it comes to climaxing. Women will fake orgasms to "please their husbands" but I have never heard of men "faking it" to please their wives (Wolf 147). Wolf argues that in development, "sexual giving emerges as generosity rather than submissiveness" but women continue to take on the role of the victim or the woman being dominated when it comes to the bedroom (Wolf 155).
Above all, what I took out of this chapter is that women should not be blamed for men's insecurities (sexual or otherwise) nor should they be blamed for their own assaults.
Monday, 23 April 2012
Promarama Dramarama
Prom is still nearly a month away and I feel as though the "prom drama" is already in full swing. It's hard to walk three steps without hearing some discussion of prom, and I know the "real" drama (however "real" any issues concerning prom can actually be) hasn't even kicked in yet. People are gloating about the cute way their dates asked them, lamenting that they haven't been asked yet, beginning diets and cleanses, hastily scouring stores for a unique yet stunning dress, planning their limo group and fighting about who is going to be left out, and of course probing other girls to find out what gossip they've missed out on. You'd think that the Oscars were rapidly approaching within our community given the amount of discussion prom is receiving.
Cattiness is slowly growing, as it always seems to do around this time of year. I'm not sure why that happens around big events, but girls seem nearly incapable of human tactfulness once a certain day hits. "So-and-so is going to be left without a date," I've head girls whisper about others, with an evil yet sickeningly pleased glimmer in their eye.
However, the most common snide comment that I hear is about the dresses. One senior girl started a Facebook group for all upperclassmen to post photos of their dresses so that nobody buys the same dress as another girl. I've seen similar groups with other schools and my friends in different cities, yet I still think there's something a little bit pointless about it. I've yet to hear a positive comment about a single dress posted in the group. Girls don't point out when other girls have selected a gorgeous gown, but are quick to point out the tacky dresses and the ones that are going to be unflattering. Wolf states that this could be because "beauty thinking urges women to approach one another as possible adversaries until they know they are friends" (Wolf 75).
Another thing that comes with prom is incessant spending of money. Girls put down hundreds of dollars on dresses yet it's still a lose-lose situation. Girls are looked down upon if they don't spend enough on a dress ("It's cheap, tacky, classless") but are also ridiculed for overspending ("what a snob, it's not even that pretty"). Also, prom preparation is costly. Although it's unclear who they are trying to impress, the girls, the boys, or their audience of Facebook stalkers, girls spend hours primping and pay to get their hair and nails (and sometimes even makeup) professionally done. The ticket itself is the equivalent of about 150 dollars too.
"Somehow, somewhere, someone must have figured out that they will buy more things if they are kept in the self-hating, ever-failing, hungry, and sexually insecure state of being aspiring beauties" Wolf says, however what she doesn't mention is that it isn't just advertisers and men who are causing this mindset, but other women, and even high school girls are just as guilty (Wolf 66).
Cattiness is slowly growing, as it always seems to do around this time of year. I'm not sure why that happens around big events, but girls seem nearly incapable of human tactfulness once a certain day hits. "So-and-so is going to be left without a date," I've head girls whisper about others, with an evil yet sickeningly pleased glimmer in their eye.
However, the most common snide comment that I hear is about the dresses. One senior girl started a Facebook group for all upperclassmen to post photos of their dresses so that nobody buys the same dress as another girl. I've seen similar groups with other schools and my friends in different cities, yet I still think there's something a little bit pointless about it. I've yet to hear a positive comment about a single dress posted in the group. Girls don't point out when other girls have selected a gorgeous gown, but are quick to point out the tacky dresses and the ones that are going to be unflattering. Wolf states that this could be because "beauty thinking urges women to approach one another as possible adversaries until they know they are friends" (Wolf 75).
Another thing that comes with prom is incessant spending of money. Girls put down hundreds of dollars on dresses yet it's still a lose-lose situation. Girls are looked down upon if they don't spend enough on a dress ("It's cheap, tacky, classless") but are also ridiculed for overspending ("what a snob, it's not even that pretty"). Also, prom preparation is costly. Although it's unclear who they are trying to impress, the girls, the boys, or their audience of Facebook stalkers, girls spend hours primping and pay to get their hair and nails (and sometimes even makeup) professionally done. The ticket itself is the equivalent of about 150 dollars too.
"Somehow, somewhere, someone must have figured out that they will buy more things if they are kept in the self-hating, ever-failing, hungry, and sexually insecure state of being aspiring beauties" Wolf says, however what she doesn't mention is that it isn't just advertisers and men who are causing this mindset, but other women, and even high school girls are just as guilty (Wolf 66).
The Role of the Homemaker
The stereotype of the housewife is something we overlook rather often, yet the homemaker is one of the most fixed roles in our society.
To start, women's culture, whether through literature or media, is almost always regarded as more trivial than male culture, feeding into the common ignorant viewpoint that the house is the proper place for women to work. Women's magazines began in the Victorian ages and were "catered to a female sex virtually in domestic bondage" (Wolf 62). They were an outlet for women in otherwise rather dull and demeaning everyday lives.
Wolf also argues that religion has taken on a similar role in the Victorian times. She mentions female piety and says, "From a male-dominated society's point of view, it kept educated, leisured middle-class female energies harmlessly, even usefully, diverted from rebellion..." (Wolf 92).
Culture today caters towards stay-at-home women. Being a working mother is getting increasingly difficult, and many women are choosing (or being forced, depending on how you look at it) to stay home and raise children after giving birth. If this is a choice, I find it at admirable one, as being a mother is perhaps one of the hardest and most noble professions. However, if women are being forced into this role either for economic or social reasons, this is despicable.
Advertisers and media executives feed into this cycle and Wolf points out, "Newspapers relegate women's issues to the 'women's page'; TV programming consigns 'women's stories' to the daytime" (Wolf 71).
Wolf quotes Betty Friedan as saying, "Why is it never said that the really crucial function... that women serve as housewives is to buy more things for the house?" (Wolf 66).
Even on some of my favorite television shows, women are portrayed as housewives and homemakers, and although their responsibilities are often highlighted, I think that as a society we often overlook equally the hardships of a housewife, but also the obstacles that working mothers and wives face.
Another (very timely) example of the Beauty Myth being put into practice in religion and politics, is with some stances by the Republican party in the build up to the 2012 election. Republican candidate Mitt Romney stated that he listens to his wife's advice when it comes to making his policies, however she "has never worked a day in her life" and therefore is in no way qualified to make decisions representing the American female public. On the other hand, Romney's opposition, Rick Santorum, has his own views when it comes to women. Although I would define my political beliefs as rather moderate leaning towards liberal (but in no way completely left-wing) I find Santorum to be a terrifying individual. Not only has he spoken out about opposing abortion and wishing to ban it, but he has openly expressed his views that the workplace is not the proper place for a woman and that women should be homemakers, as that is their true calling. The fact that a man, and a politician and presidential hopeful no less, could be this misogynistic and ignorant makes my blood boil.
To start, women's culture, whether through literature or media, is almost always regarded as more trivial than male culture, feeding into the common ignorant viewpoint that the house is the proper place for women to work. Women's magazines began in the Victorian ages and were "catered to a female sex virtually in domestic bondage" (Wolf 62). They were an outlet for women in otherwise rather dull and demeaning everyday lives.
Wolf also argues that religion has taken on a similar role in the Victorian times. She mentions female piety and says, "From a male-dominated society's point of view, it kept educated, leisured middle-class female energies harmlessly, even usefully, diverted from rebellion..." (Wolf 92).
Culture today caters towards stay-at-home women. Being a working mother is getting increasingly difficult, and many women are choosing (or being forced, depending on how you look at it) to stay home and raise children after giving birth. If this is a choice, I find it at admirable one, as being a mother is perhaps one of the hardest and most noble professions. However, if women are being forced into this role either for economic or social reasons, this is despicable.
Advertisers and media executives feed into this cycle and Wolf points out, "Newspapers relegate women's issues to the 'women's page'; TV programming consigns 'women's stories' to the daytime" (Wolf 71).
Wolf quotes Betty Friedan as saying, "Why is it never said that the really crucial function... that women serve as housewives is to buy more things for the house?" (Wolf 66).
Even on some of my favorite television shows, women are portrayed as housewives and homemakers, and although their responsibilities are often highlighted, I think that as a society we often overlook equally the hardships of a housewife, but also the obstacles that working mothers and wives face.
Another (very timely) example of the Beauty Myth being put into practice in religion and politics, is with some stances by the Republican party in the build up to the 2012 election. Republican candidate Mitt Romney stated that he listens to his wife's advice when it comes to making his policies, however she "has never worked a day in her life" and therefore is in no way qualified to make decisions representing the American female public. On the other hand, Romney's opposition, Rick Santorum, has his own views when it comes to women. Although I would define my political beliefs as rather moderate leaning towards liberal (but in no way completely left-wing) I find Santorum to be a terrifying individual. Not only has he spoken out about opposing abortion and wishing to ban it, but he has openly expressed his views that the workplace is not the proper place for a woman and that women should be homemakers, as that is their true calling. The fact that a man, and a politician and presidential hopeful no less, could be this misogynistic and ignorant makes my blood boil.
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